


Valerian of the Road

by SecondStarfall (beantiger)



Series: The Second Starfall Stories [9]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epic Friendship, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Style, Fantasy, Female Friendship, Flash Fic, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Lesbian Character, Medieval, Mental Health Issues, Microfic, Miscarriage, Original Character(s), Originally Posted Elsewhere, Protectiveness, Royalty, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22112509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beantiger/pseuds/SecondStarfall
Summary: "I had let you sleep in my chambers the first night, because the castle was so cold. You laid at the end of the bed like a wet cat and I threw my arm over you as we slept."***After her beloved servant attempts suicide, a queen attempts to convince her of her value.
Series: The Second Starfall Stories [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582975
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Valerian of the Road

**Author's Note:**

> This is a version of the original Twitterfic, same title, posted over at my now-deactivated personal account in December 2019. It has been given minor edits for consistency with other stories and readability on AO3. ❤️
> 
>  **SUGGESTED RE-READING:** This is a direct follow-up to ["The Botanist's Most Important Failure,"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21990349) but ["A Good Queen Is Good To Have,"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22005889) and ["Where A Flower May Find The Truth"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22021072) are also useful to re-read. 
> 
> ✨ [[see the full SecStar timeline](https://secondstarfall.com/index.php/Official_Timeline) | [check out the SecStar wiki](https://secondstarfall.com/)] ✨

From outside the botanist's door came a series of sobs, just perceptible and painfully familiar. _A lovely way to begin the morning,_ thought the botanist, watching light filter through the window.

When the queen finally entered, her face was dry, but taut. She took no notice of the botanist for a while, instead fiddling with the little pink flowers in a vase on the botanist's desk.

Finally, she said, "I should not have named you."

"I asked you for it. I could not abide by my old one, all those years ago," replied the botanist. She did not look at her visitor, for the sedative she had willingly taken—the extract, pure as mountaintop snow—had left her too weak to move much besides her eyes.

"Valériane," said the queen, her voice quiet and intimate. "Valériane de la Rue. 'Valerian of the road.' And here you are, taking valerian, hoping to find a road away from me."

The queen dumped the vase, flowers and all, out the window. 

"Those were just for study, you know," said Valériane, the botanist.

"I had let you sleep in my chambers the first night, because the castle was so cold. You laid at the end of the bed like a wet cat and I threw my arm over you as we slept." 

"I figured you were lonely."

"So I was: I had never had a sibling—my Papa lost the one I was meant to have, very early on in the womb, before she even had a name, and they never tried again, my royal parents. I never had a friend in the world. And yet, there was you, my valerian of the road." 

"If you're here to guilt me—"

"I looked into your eyes and knew you were the sister I lost. I don't care to know how or why, but you were given back to me."

As the queen sat on the cot, her face reddened. She seemed to be pushing something back inside of herself. 

"The only creatures in this world I love more than you," she finished, "are my children."

"I hear your tulip-farmer is a winner."

"Jokes, jokes, always with you, my friend," said the queen. "Had you succeeded at this, where would my love have gone?" 

"I am sorry." With effort, the botanist Valériane pulled her gaze down to her own lifeless hands. "I don't know what else to tell you. This was all measured, planned. I was not meant to survi—"

"Into nothingness," the queen added. "That's where my love would have gone."

One could not survive attempting to thread a needle that did not exist, so to speak, when it came to love. The botanist had seen dozens suffer for it. Parents and children, friends, people in the throes of passion. It all led to one end: the one Valériane had chased. 

"Am I here to guilt you? No. You've clearly already done that yourself. Am I here to tell you that you are the centerpiece of a wide, wide web? Yes. The botanist and healer of this castle, a cherished aunt to my children, a beloved friend, a treasured sister. And I will not have you unpiece that." 

Through the numbness in her flesh, the botanist felt the queen's hands over her own.

"I can't guarantee that I'll never do this again," said Valériane. "There is a wound that no one can reach—that even I..."

"Then you come to me. Or I will come to you." 

Sunshine painted the queen's features with gold and grey.

"Fine," the botanist acquiesced. "Alright."

The queen leaned in and kissed her forehead. "And you were given back to me again, Valériane," she whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment or a kudos or whatever the heck if this tickled your fancy. There shall be more! ❤️
> 
> ✨ [[see the full SecStar timeline](https://secondstarfall.com/index.php/Official_Timeline) | [check out the SecStar wiki](https://secondstarfall.com/)] ✨
> 
>  **AUTHOR'S COMMENTARY:** And so our botanist gets a name. Indeed, it roughly means "valerian of the road." Valerian is an herb with roots that have sedative properties; I've been curious about it as a symbol for years. I have a poem about it in my grad school thesis.
> 
> Valériane takes her namesake to sleep, but also worked on a highly pure and hella toxic tincture of it. (She and Marlesse, the chief guard, dumped it out in ["The Botanist's Most Important Failure."](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21990349) The queen thinks she's dumping it out here, but Val was telling the truth: those were study flowers.) Why she created such a thing is anyone's guess. I don't think she originally intended to use it to hurt herself. 
> 
> None of these characters were ever meant to have names, as I never meant to turn this into a whole universe. Then as I discovered I had a lot to say, I knew I needed more than just epithets. Althussian names (these characters live in a place called Althussant, as you'll see) are French or pseudo-French, owing to my lifelong obsession with the language. 
> 
> Also, I really like cuddly platonic friendships, like I said.


End file.
